January 22, 2014
My vortex is getting all polar again.

My vortex is getting all polar again.

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January 8, 2014
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April 3, 2012

New song (and a little video I made for it) is up now at http://www.greglaswell.com

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March 6, 2012
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February 29, 2012
Robot, Top of the Rock in NYC

Robot, Top of the Rock in NYC

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From years ago, reposted by popular demand.

Just stumbled on something I did years ago… I am “proudshep” below. Back-story is that I was sick for several days and got bored so decided to fool around with people on the internet, namely, dog-training forums (they can be very serious). I used to get more comments about this after shows than my songs…… hope you enjoy them.


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EPISODE ONE



proudshep posted at 02:18PM PST 06/04/06

hi, i have a puppy pug-golden retriever mix named nancy who i am currently house breaking. i have tried everthing from crate training to yanking the shit out of her leash if i catch her in the act. (i let her drag her leash around during potty training so i can easily give corrections). nothing seems to work.

a friend of mine (also a new dog owner) suggested that i leave nancy’s poops in the house and immediately put a food bowl down next to it. since dogs do not like to poop where they eat, it will stop her from pooping in the house. makes sense.

i was a little reluctant at first but i do have hard wood floors and i figure a little short term pain for long term gain will be worth it. so for the last five days now i have left nancy’s shits in the house. there must be 9 or 10 shits in my house now and it smells absolutely horrible. today i came home and she was in her crate and wouldn’t come out. it just seems to be getting worse and worse. it seems like she isn’t even trying to piss or shit outside now. at my wits end! please help!



yorkiesforme posted at 02:32PM PST 06/04/06

This is the most bizzarre post I have ever seen. Is this for real? Oh my God proudshep, you are making so many mistakes that I don’t know where to begin.
First of all, PLEASE stop taking advice from your friend. It sounds like he/she may be having a bit of fun with you. 
Basically, you have successfully taught Nancy that your house is her toilet. She is probably extremely confused. You are lucky that she is still eating. Your friend is right. K9s do not like to eat, sleep or live among their eliminations. That is why crate-training is a great idea. 
PICK UP THE POOPS IMMEDIATELY! Try to do it when she is not watching. You do not want her thinking that you are her maid. Once the poops are all cleaned up, PLEASE buy some pet deodorizer from the pet store and treat your floors. If she smells her poops in in the house, she will think that is where she is supposed to go. FEED HER IN HER CRATE from now on too. Then move it to a small room next, then open up another room and so on and so forth. You need to retrain the damaging behaviour you have taught her. 
This is really shocking. Is she peeing in the house too? 



proudshep posted at 02:58PM PST 06/04/06

thanks so much! i will keep at the crate training. luckily she has not been peeing in the house because i have withheld water from her until she is trained. 
thx again!!!



JACKSDEVILS posted at 03:46PM PST 06/04/06

dude. are you kidding me here? i think yorkiesforme is right. your friend is having fun with you. and no offence, but you are an idiot. tell me the withholding water thing was a joke?!?!?!?



proudshep posted at 03:54PM PST 06/04/06

no offense taken man. it is “offense” by the way…. not “offence”.



yorkiesforme posted at 05:13PM PST 06/04/06

Proudshep PLEASE tell me you are joking. If you hold back water from your dog, they can develop kidney problems later in life. This post is very frustrating to me. I think you are trying to be a good owner but start to do some more critical thinking please!!!
Also i didn’t comment on the “good yank on her leash” part. NOT a good idea.



Sheldon78 posted at 07:57PM PST 06/04/06

I have never seen a post like this. 



proudshep posted at 09:51PM PST 06/04/06

to yorkiesforme and jacksdevils: i was totally freakin joking about withholding water. common you guys. give me some credit :) 



tWOdOGtOWN posted at 09:13AM PST 06/05/06

proudshep, you left dog shit all over your house for 5 days………… not a lot of credit there. sorry. 



dogsRgods posted at 10:13AM PST 06/05/06

oh my gosh. this is shocking, i agree. um, um, um…. i think what your friend was trying to say is that it is a good idea to put a food bowl down where your dog has an “accident” ONLY after you have cleaned it up. this is a great way to teach your dog that the house is for eating, not for going to the bathroom. your friend sounds as confused as you are. is he or she on this forum? i can’t imagine that someone would be “having fun” with you in that way…. and if they are, they are not a good friend :(

goodness though, i can’t believe you kept her poopies in your house for that long!!!! you must really love her :) :) :)

i agree with the others though. be a little smarter please. :( this website is a wonderful resource for you! please use it.





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EPISODE TWO



proudshep posted at 02:07PM PST 07/23/06

hi everyone, this is a great site. i have learned a-freakin-lot. new question: i recently read in a dog training book that in order to establish dominance with your dog, it is a good idea to spit in his/her food. so i started spitting in nancy’s food immediately but nothing really changed, which puzzled me. i know that dogs are very territorial and they mark their territory with their urine and/or feces. a+b=c, so i decided to pee in nancy’s food bowl. well, now she won’t eat anything at all. was i too dominant? thanks.



JACKSDEVILS posted at 02:32PM PST 07/23/06

okay. i have read your other posts. either you are the biggest idiot or you are having a lot of fun. but i love dogs so i am going to error on the side of not giving you the benefit of the doubt. DO NOT PEE IN YOUR DOGS FOOD BOWL! are you crazy?!?!!? of course she isn’t eating at all. would you eat your cereal if she pissed in it? please tell me you are joking!



proudshep posted at 02:49PM PST 07/23/06

i don’t eat that much cereal though.



JACKSDEVILS posted at 03:07PM PST 07/23/06

you just answered my question.



crazymary posted at 03:32PM PST 07/23/06

Oh my God. I think I kind of understand your reasoning but you should not pee in your dog’s bowl. The good news is that she has stopped eating because dogs eat everything and it is not safe for them to eat your waste. Do not add in your own training methods when reading books. I think you mean well but I too have read your other posts and I am very shocked to be honest with you. 



Sheldon78 posted at 03:39PM PST 07/23/06

Agian, I have never seen a post like this. proudshep must be joking with us.




margie_is_dog posted at 04:05PM PST 07/23/06

you should never spit or pee in your dog’s bowl. she is your best friend and honestly there are other ways to establish dominance with your dog. this type of training is disrespectful to your dog. i know there are books out there that suggest to “show your dog who is boss” but there is a lot of other material out there that actually accomplishes the same thing. for instance did you know that the best way to establish yourself as the leader of the pack is to play games with your dog? tug of war, fetch, etc..




proudshep posted at 12:02AM PST 07/24/06

yeah but i hate playing with my dog.




margie_is_dog posted at 08:13AM PST 07/24/06

?






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EPISODE THREE



proudshep posted at 02:58PM PST 08/23/06

hi everyone. this freakin site is so freakin helpful. i just love it. my newest problem with nancy is that i have decided that i do not want her to watch TV. sometimes i will be on the couch, look over at her and she will be watching… i immediately yell “NO NANCY! NO!” she stops and looks at me but then a few minutes later i will catch her glancing at the TV again. i’ve also tried squirting her with water. nothing seems to work. any ideas?



yorkiesforme posted at 03:12PM PST 08/23/06

Proudshep, why do you not want your dog to watch TV? I have seen you on here before and your problems are always so bizarre! :) Really though, you are probably startling her when you shout “no” at her quite out of the blue. I guarantee that she is not making the connection between her behavior and why she is being punished. PLEASE do not squirt her. While it can be a good tool when potty-training them, it is not a good idea at this stage. How would you feel if you were just sitting on the couch watching TV and someone just yelled “no” at you and then squirted you and you didn’t even know why? 



proudshep posted at 03:42PM PST 08/23/06

i think she does know why though. i can kinda tell, you know?



yorkiesforme posted at 03:57PM PST 08/23/06

No I don’t know. 



JACKSDEVILS posted at 06:04PM PST 06/23/06

oh my god. not this guy again. okay, i’ll bite and ask again why it is that you don’t want your dog to watch TV. you are!!!!



efballfantasy posted at 06:06PM PST 06/23/06

WHAT? your dog has NO IDEA why she is being punished. jesus bless her heart. i just read some of your other posts here on this forum and i am speechless.



proudshep posted at 01:03AM PST 08/24/06

let’s just say that i don’t want her watching.



JACKSDEVILS posted at 07:09AM PST 06/24/06

uh okay dude. 



margie_is_dog posted at 07:58AM PST 06/24/06

what makes canines such wonderful animals is their constant curiosity about what goes on around them. when you arbitrarily punish her it will defeat her spirit. i don’t understand why you don’t want her watching TV but you should pick your battles. she does not understand that she is being punished simply by looking at something. canines are smart animals but not that smart. 



crazymary posted at 08:12AM PST 06/24/06

this makes no sense. i agree with what margie said, you will ultimately defeat her spirit. why have you decided that you don’t want her watching? is this a joke?



proudshep posted at 08:59AM PST 06/24/06

i don’t understand what the problem is here… i came on for help on how to get my dog to stop watching TV and instead i feel attacked and assaulted. i am the boss of my home. that is all you need to know. oh and by the way, i am also the master of my dog. if i don’t want her doing something, that is all you need to know. if you want to help me train her, then offer up some good advice. if not, please don’t respond. 



JACKSDEVILS posted at 09:32AM PST 06/24/06

because you are FUCKING WIERD DUDE! by the way, attacked and assaulted are the same word, you only need to use one. 



proudshep posted at 09:43AM PST 06/24/06

it’s “weird” not “wierd”. the rule “i” before “e” except after “c” doesn’t apply to the word “weird”…. which is kind of weird, i’ll admit. i think i’ve corrected your grammar before you silly pants! ;)



margie_is_dog posted at 10:02AM PST 06/24/06

sorry if we offended you proudshep. you need to understand though that this is a very unique subject. i have never heard of anyone not wanting their dog not to watch TV. i was interested at first becuase i thought there might be a study out that says it is bad for them. anyway, you are right you are the master i guess. it is a little weird though.



BrInGiTdOgOn posted at 10:04AM PST 06/24/06

This guy is crackers.



yorkiesforme posted at 10:48AM PST 06/24/06

I’m beginning to agree. The horrible part is that a dog is in the picture. :(.

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February 21, 2012
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January 12, 2012

In other news, my next record ‘Landline’ will be out April 24th.

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I haven’t finished Season 1 of Friday Night Lights in under a week or anything, that would be weird.

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September 28, 2010

iTunes EXCLUSIVE song / iTunes SALE

Hi,

My entire music catalog (when did that happen by the way?) is on SALE on iTunes for a limited time; All three full-lengths are $6.99 and my two EPs are $2.49. I also recently did a cover of Van Morrison’s “Into the Mystic” and it’s exclusively available on iTunes. But, it’s expensive ($.99). The sale will run through the end of my tour with Sara Bareilles. (You should come out to a show by the way.)
Thanks as always -  I’m off to have a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich.
GL

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August 9, 2010

Fall Tour With Sara Bareilles

Tour dates and ticket links for my upcoming tour with Sara Bareilles
are up on greglaswell.com. Just sayin’.

http://greglaswell.com/tour

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June 17, 2010
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April 15, 2010

Exclusive Pre-Order Bundles / Tickets / Stream THIS

Hi,

Starting TODAY on greglaswell.com, you will be able to do 3 things:

1. Pre-order my new record, Take a Bow, along with new shirts, vinyl, limited edition posters, hoodies, action figures with swivel-arm fighting action AND a limited edition of my very FIRST, previously unreleased record, GOOD MOVIE (no joke there).

2. Get ticket links to my upcoming, full-band, nation-wide tour beginning May 4th.

3. STREAM my NEW RECORD on-line (gulp).

Continued thanks to all of you and I hope to see you soon.

GL

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April 5, 2010

Pre-Order/ Making of “Take A Bow”

Hi,

You can now pre-order my next album, TAKE A BOW, on amazon.com by going here: http://bit.ly/cfI8Am

There is also a “making of video” for the title track (also on amazon.com) here: http://bit.ly/a2cIwB

My little baby is growing up so fast.
Hope you enjoy.
gl

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February 23, 2010
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